There are a lot of things about my life right now that probably look pretty incredible from the outside.
And they are, and I am thankful. I get to travel. I get to board ships headed towards places other people save for years to visit. I wake up in different ports, wander different streets, and watch sunsets over oceans, mountains, and ice fields alike. Honestly, occasionally, I have to remind myself that somehow, inexplicably, this is my actual life.
But I’d leave it all behind tomorrow for something, immeasurably, more important.
Recently, my wife joined me on one of my cruises, and we spent a few days together afterward. Nothing about that sentence sounds particularly remarkable. A cruise. A few nights in a nice hotel. Some travel and some fun. But when you spend as much time apart as we sometimes do, a few days together stops feeling ordinary. They feel like everything.
We ate, laughed, and made memories in places we’re lucky to have even seen.
But the best parts weren’t really any of those things. The best parts were waking up and realizing she was there. Looking across the room and seeing her. Reaching for her hand without thinking about it. Having someone beside me at the end of the day who knows exactly who I am when there isn’t a story to tell.
What I am talking about is the part of my life I don’t mention very often. Maybe because I know how fortunate I am. But I miss my wife. A lot. And missing someone doesn’t become easier just because the scenery outside the window is beautiful.
Social media is good at showing the journey but terrible at showing this absence. You see the ocean but you don’t see me wishing she was there. You see the destination but you don’t see the empty side of the bed. You see the smiling photograph but you don’t hear the phone call afterward when I’d give just about anything to reach through the screen and pull her into the room.
That’s the bargain you strike sometimes when chasing a big life. And I’m grateful for mine. But the world isn’t nearly as impressive without her in it. It’s that simple.
Give me the incredible destination. Give me the balcony overlooking the ocean. And I’ll still miss sitting beside my wife doing absolutely nothing. Because somewhere along the way I realized, seeing the world and having someone to share it with are two very different things. And if I had to choose, it isn’t really a choice. I’d trade another country for another morning coffee with her. Another sudden thrill for another ordinary night together. I’d trade a thousand beautiful views for the one I’ve probably taken for granted far more times than I care to admit: her sitting across from me.
So when your gifted with the opportunity to be with your loved one, take them out for a nice dinner. Drink the bottle of wine. Drink two. Stay up later than you should. Laugh loudly. Walk somewhere without caring how long it takes to get back. And relish in the sheer, ridiculous enjoyment of getting to be with the person you can’t imaging living without. I know I will.
Adventures are wonderful, sure. But in the end, the ship always returns to port. The suitcases always get unpacked. The photographs are bound to disappear amongst the thousands of others we have in our phones. And when that is all over, you start to understand that the person you wanted beside you through all of it was, in fact, the adventure that mattered the most.
